A fable about finding a phase without instruments

One day a friend came to me to ask,
Can I give you some advice?
He's not an electrician. There is no knowledge, no equipment.
But he's a man! And therefore it’s not good
For the search phase, call a fitter
(The electrician gets the money... You have to give it back).
But free advice is just that,
Now I’m still surfing the Internet...
A little surprised, she did not object:
“We’ll help you decide now,” she whispered quietly.
Well, there are no instruments and no knowledge either?
So, only the Internet will help.
Let's just go to the serious forum,
Where the terrible uncle pours out knowledge,
And let’s say there: “Guys, I’m looking for a phase!
But there are no instruments, I’ll clarify right away!”
And off we go...

The advisor was the first to connect immediately
And as expected, I repeated myself a bit:
“Are you looking for a phase without instruments?
So, take the potatoes right away
And stick two wires into its cut.
Wait a little bit. Look at the result:
Where she got a little fried - there is a phase,
Well, where there is no, there is zero, remember right away.
Don't want to risk your health? Well done!
I’ll be honest: with this test there may be pi...”
(very bad, it can give you an electric shock).

Here the second expert joined the conversation
And as expected, I repeated myself a bit:
“Are you looking for a phase without instruments?
Take a look at the insulation right away.
Kohl AveOjust two water - great,
the blue sign is zero, everything is logical here.
Bad luck? Do you see three veins? No problem:
The earth is always marked green,
And the blue ones are zero, that’s what the standard dictated.
But no one forbade the phase to be different
Therefore, you can find it by color,
Only by acting with extreme caution
Defining zero with the ground.
But I’ll say right away, ahead of the question:
Brother, don’t test the theory with your bare hands,
It’s not for nothing that our region is famous for its talents.
And if suddenly an inexperienced youth was a master,
Check it with your bare hand, and maybe pi...”
(the surprise may be dangerous and unpleasant).

And then the third adviser joined the conversation,
Well, for the sake of formality, I repeated myself a little:
“Are you looking for a phase without instruments?
This won’t work, I’ll say right away.
Therefore, look for a two-core cable,
Connect the cartridge to it quickly
And don't forget to screw in the lamp.
Collected? Ready? It's time to get weird!
Throw one end of the lamp onto the piece of iron,
Well, bring the second one quietly to the wires.
If it lights up, you have found the phase.
Zero will not shine, and that's good.
Three wires, not two? Problem.
Here, brother, this may be the dilemma:
There are only two phases, only there is ground and zero,
Here without preparation, testing is painful…»

Suddenly, the fourth adviser appeared.
I broke tradition: I didn’t repeat it at all.
But most importantly, this guy is formidable
He gave everyone quite serious advice:

Dear people, don’t engage in nonsense like the author of this article.. The devices you need are inexpensive, and rushing when working with electrical equipment is inappropriate. Wait for the store to open and buy an indicator and a multimeter there. Even though they are the most budget ones. With their help, finding a phase is a simple matter, but without them it is dangerous, often useless and even more often expensive.
Well, also remember that only one feature distinguishes a good electrician from a bad one: the first one consults with the instruments, and the second one consults with experts on the forum.